Love and Fear
R and I have now been having a relationship for a couple of months. It’s not real and that’s my fault. He seemed to be getting moody and annoyed around me and I was terrified of losing my one friend so I gave him what he claimed he wanted and agreed to a relationship. I feel bad as I don’t put in as much as he does. I haven’t even been faithful – I’ve done two bdsm session with other men without telling him. Both have involved sexual contact.
I like R a lot as a friend but I’m not in love with him. I can’t end the relationship though as that would leave me entirely friendless. I feel like such a cow.
